Here Comes the Next Contestant
by Dr. F. M. Obsesser
Summary: The gang is at the park. One of them is getting hit on and another one is jealous as hell... Ami/Makoto


Either this song is so wonderful for shoujo-ai or I've listened to it wayyy too much (the later being more probable), but here I am, writing a "Next Contestant" songfic…. Though I'm only using the chorus and one verse… but oh well. Really, the only issue was the following: which couple?

All my pacing eventually led to this. I took a _very_ different approach to this song (not as much fluff as others I've written but I still liked it)… which I think is why I actually finally wrote this: it's taking the over possessive-ness of the song but kind of switching it up. I do admit that there are better songs that may have fit this situation, but I really love am addicted to this song ( I listened to it on repeat while writing this) so… yup, this is how it ended up.

Oh,** I apologize in advance** for the _slight _male bashing (okay, it was quite a bit), but I thought it would be more believable if she was all overly bitter…. Again, guys, sorry about that, I know you're not all like that and very many of you are really sweet. I'm just a _slightly_ bitter and feminist girl. shrug Oh, well.

I may later have other chapters with the same song but different couples or different approaches… or maybe even the same situation from the other POV… ah the possibilities! But anyways, for the time being enjoy this Makoto/Ami one-shot, or perhaps, this time it should be called Ami/Makoto….

* * *

_I judge by what she's wearing  
Just how many heads I'm tearing  
Off of assholes coming on to her  
Each night seems like it's getting worse_

Would the flirting _ever_ end?

I won't hold it against her (I couldn't even if I wanted to), but must every guy come up to flirt with her? There are the five inner senshi here, all wearing rather…well… _revealing_ clothing for winter at a public park, and yet each and every male that passes us hits only on her. Not that they're making a bad choice, I mean, I would do the same. But it doesn't stop aggravating me.

I mean, it should be statistically impossible. If you have five options and under random selection, then the number of times one of us gets hit on should be evenly distributed. Okay, fine, it's not random; it's based on one's personal judgment of what's attractive. But still, the results are a bit stacked. Minako or Rei should have had at least one person each, and she shouldn't be having thirteen straight (huh, a pun on my gayness… great).

Still, I guess it could make sense.

Let's assume the impossible: that most males actually are very perceptive, understand women and how they think, and have a very in tune gaydar. With all that, maybe, just maybe, they can tell that Usagi is taken because her massive lack of interest in anything but her phone, since she's waiting for her boyfriend (Mamoru) to show up or call her.

Even if they had all those things, then it would be very hard to tell that Rei and Minako were together since the only contact visible to those walking by is that their sitting next to each other.

Note: I guarantee they're holding hands and using those big jackets of theirs to cover it up. Why the hell would they wear non-formfitting jackets otherwise? This is Rei and Minako we're talking about.

And me? Well, they would need one hell of a gaydar to tell that I'm a lesbian. Actually, if a random guy came up and asked me if I was, I would not only be impressed but amused that my friends would all be falling over each other at the news.

Tangent: Know that I think about it, it would be hilarious. I can see Minako and Usagi being all "I knew it! I knew it!" and Rei probably being speechless or saying something about Haruka and owing her thirty dollars… and she would just stare…. Oh well. Another funny thought all to myself.

Anyway, even if they weren't perceptive enough to figure all that out, a general stalker who has been staring at our group for the last fifteen minutes from behind some tree would have noticed that neither of the blondes or the raven haired girl showed any interest, or even jealously, by the fact that one girl was getting all the attention.

I, on the other hand, would have been perceived as an insanely jealous freak.

Not that they knew who I was jealous of….

So, back the issue at hand: if most males were these superhuman creatures that they believe themselves to be, since everyone else is taken (by another person or gender preferences), they would have just her to hit on, which is exactly what is happening. She's the only one who is being hit on, and she is being hit on by every male. Either she is totally irresistible or the males are the supreme gender and have superhuman abilities.

I'm going with the former.

And here comes Mr. Fourteen, proving my point even more so. This time he would be what would be called "TDH (Tall, Dark and Handsome)" by Minako .

Note: When I asked Minako what TDH stood for she gave Rei as a prime example, saying she fit "all the criteria perfectly, especially the last one". I think she ended up getting laid for that one, since she was even more bubbly than usual the next day.

Anyway.

_Here comes the next contestant_

Great, since the last male left the proximity fifteen seconds ago with a rejection, here comes the next. I wonder if there's a line somewhere. If so, when's my turn?

Watching out of the corner of my eye (AKA just shy of staring), I notice this one has actually grabbed her attention, literally. His hand is on her shoulder, and she's laughing.

Please correct me if I'm wrong, good stalker friend, but until receiving a picture proving that she's not enjoying this, I'm going to have to keep up my very angry face and the steam coming out of my ears.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?_

Okay, she's not my girlfriend (yet), and I really shouldn't interfere, but I can't help but want to strike the guy dead.

Apparently, Minako took notice of my anger. She, being Venus, probably noted the jealously half of it, and she puts her hand on my shoulder, saying "It's fine, calm down. You'll get your turn."

I just keep glaring at the guy, ignoring Minako's words completely.  
_  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

What ends up making me most upset is that she is flirting back, just strengthening my belief that I'm very gay for a very straight girl.

Minako only continues, "Don't worry, she'll notice eventually."

Well that certainly gets my attention. I spin around with pure shock on my face, unable to respond.

Rei throws in a casual, "Yeah, we've known for a while. Dunno why you bothered keeping it a secret though."

Et tu, Brutus?

I sigh, realizing that of course the out couple in our group would pick up on me.

I drop my head a bit and say, "You know, it's just really hard to watch the two of them flirt like that." Noticing my sudden depression-like state, Minako and Rei both solemnly nod as though they get it.

"If it's any consolation," Rei begins, "I think he's leaving."

I look up to confirm that it is, in fact, true.

_There goes the next contestant_

He's walking away with a smile on his face, which means there is instantly a frown on mine.

What did I miss? What happened while I was distracted from my position as glaredog?

Looking around for clues that would lead me to an accepted reason for tearing his guts out, I notice two things: a slip of paper in her hands and his cheek. The slip of paper is probably a phone number, which though makes me upset, she could always throw that away. No, it's that other clue that made me feel like tearing his head off.

There is lipstick on his cheek.

On the little male swine's cheek there is a fuckin' kiss. Why the hell does he deserve a kiss? If the male population deserved anything it was mercy… and that was conditional. Look at all the things men did: screwed up the economy, they wage wars for their own greed, they somehow managed to make most women hate them, and found it necessary to deprive most people their rights until as of late.

I'm going to kill him. My muscles tense as I am about to pull myself off the park table, and I can feel the adrenaline rushing through me as my anger reaches higher and higher

Only Rei's strong grip on my shoulder and Minako's gaze bring me back to the world of non-homicidal people. Just barely though. I also rationalize that killing a guy when the object of your affection was eight feet away from you is not the best way to pick them up.

"Listen," Minako begins. But she is cut off by Usagi of all people.

"Ami, what's stopping you?"

Startled at the question, I look around as though there is an obvious answer somewhere. Unable to find it, I answer, "She's straight?"

This, for some reason, makes Usagi laugh like crazy. I just stare at her confused. "Come on, you should be able to figure this one out. There are many senshi but all of them are girls. There is no other known guy in the future that we have relationships with other than Mamoru. So… duh! You guys all end up together."

Still a tad confused, I ask, "We're all…"

Usagi smiles. "We're all bisexual. Myself included."

That causes quite a stir among us. All of us except her, of course, who is chatting away with Mr. Fifteen.

_Is that your hand on my girlfriend?  
Is that your hand?_

_I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping  
I wish you'd do it again  
I'll watch you leave here limping_

"So you're saying that I have a chance." I say, smiling as I think about the possibilities.

Usagi smiles back, "You have more than a chance."

I nod and start getting up to walk towards her. Behind me I hear Minako's little cheer for me, "Go get her undiscovered seme."

Shit. I have a feeling I'm going to get stuck with that name.

He's walking away now with a frown on his face.

I think I'm smiling.

_There goes the next contestant_

Walking up to where she is sitting under the tree a few feet away from the table, I realize that it's now or never.

I take a deep breath, looking at her. "Um… Mako-chan, can I borrow you for a second? I mean, could we go somewhere?"

She looks up at me, confused but smiling. "Sure Ami, where do want to go?"

I glance over at Rei and Minako, who are both giving me thumbs up; at Usagi, who seems to be squealing in delight; and back to Makoto who is now standing up.

I managed to choke out, "I just want to talk for a while." And maybe after that 'while' do something else which may be deemed by some as foreplay….

_Here comes the next contestant_

* * *

Yup, so it was Ami who was bitter the entire time, and I'm sorry if she was OOC. I just like a bitter Ami: I think, with a little work and some tragedy, it would suit her. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this not so fluff filled fic… I tried to make it funny though so I hope that worked out. I kind of had the idea as a contest for Makoto's affection… hm… I wonder if that worked.

Sorry about the few scenes before the end. I went to eat and yeah… I lost the bitterness, hopefully I got it back in time and the ending was good. Thanks for reading!!


End file.
